crosswordbebop

11:00 in the evening. I'm finally home from a long day. My husband and two kids are sleeping soundly upstairs. This is a busy week so I'm glad to have some quiet time to myself. Something happened that left me very upset this morning. I flared up (I rarely do) and I couldn't focus on what I was doing. At the same time, I was pressed for time to finish all the urgent items in my review inbox. So I did the right thing. I stopped working. I started clearing off unnecessary clutter on my desk. I lined up my pens. I put back the stapler and staple remover in their rightful places. I threw bills and unimportant papers in the bin. I closed unnecessary files and programs in my computer. I opened my clenched fists. And when I sat down to work again, I felt calmer. More in control. Less overwhelmed. Focused. It's a wonder what a few minutes (I think I took only 5 minutes off) of un cluttering can do to my state of mind. Sometimes when I'm really stressed over something, ...

I've been wanting to write about this since I listened to the episode 'What to do When You Hate Your Job" by Michael Hyatt 's This is My Life podcast. No, I don't hate my job. Hate is too strong a word. But admittedly, there are times I find it hard and overwhelming. And during those times, it is easy to get swayed emotionally and it becomes difficult to put things in perspective. In short, I react and feel like a victim who has no control of my circumstances instead of taking a step back and acting consciously. I know, I know, choosing to be proactive rather than reactive will make all the difference. However at the heat of the moment, it is not easy to make the good choice. “If you’re proactive, you don’t have to wait for circumstances or other people to create perspective expanding experiences. You can consciously create your own." - Stephen Covey It takes a lot of practice and conscious efforts before one can be truly proactive. Makes me think I should hav...

Spent the first 3 days of the week mostly talking to my staff and coachees, assessing their performance and giving out some nuggets of wisdom. Practice accountability. Refuse to feel like victims of circumstances. Take control of your personal development. Reinvent the wheel. Help yourself by improving our current ways of doing things. Think long-term. It is normal to feel tired but if you have a goal, you will not be swayed by long hours, stress and client issues. Blah-blah-blah-blah! Ang dami ko pa pinagsasabi. Back in Dublin, the term 'reinvent the wheel' coined by management was the butt of a joke of the staff. Two days after, I think I need some pep talk myself. Okay, I'm disappointed with my sick leave conversion. Nagexpect kasi masyado kahit alam namang madaming absent! It really pays to be healthy. I had to confront a number of issues at work. Okay lang ang busy, kahit 12 hours of work a day. Wag lang stressed sa issues! I know I am stressed because I almost lost m...

Am I thinking too small? In a meeting with our bosses and fellow managers, I found myself a bit out of place. My colleagues seem to be talking a foreign language. They were into initiatives, growth, marketing. In my mind, I can only see myself on my desk busy reviewing deliverables, answering queries, making proposals. But to go beyond that, I feel some reluctance and a lot of pain. This grown up has some serious growing up to do! But how?  Should I spend less time reading my magazine subscriptions (Yes!, Star, OK) and browsing pep.ph? Aside from spending time with my hubby and kids, updating my blog and watching the Voice! Philippines, I do nothing else but sleep and eat. My hands are full as it is.  And yet there is still some growing up to do? I'm clueless where to start and I'm a bit inflexible because of my age. But am I at least asking the right questions?  Is it time to grow up? 

Pwedeng umiyak? Gutom na yata ako. My head is aching. Maybe I talked too much in the meeting. Mondays are really manic. As soon as I tick off a to do, another one crops up. Mushroom?!? I've been toting this book The One-Life Solution by Dr. Henry Cloud for about two months now. I have yet to turn another page since I got stuck on p.66 (of p.239). The byline promise is - Reclaim your personal life while achieving greater professional success. Here's the point on the page where I stopped reading: Your time is your life. Period. How you spend it ends up being what your life is. To quote further: No matter what you want to do, wish you had done, plan to do, or fantasize about while you are doing something else, the final reality of your life is how you spent your time. What can I say? My time management does not seem to be working. Heto na lang -Sana manalo ako sa lotto ngayong gabi. Please please! And if I do not win tonight, i will continue reading the book tomorrow. Habang may b...

Surprised that hubby was free to go home by 8:00 pm but by the time he reached the office to fetch me, it was raining cats and dogs. Ang lakas ! So rather than be stuck in traffic, I asked if we could go watch a movie instead. Instant date night! I needed to relax a bit. My head was aching from the number of issues I had to address. I would rather be busy than stressed anytime. But then, issues and queries put me on my toes, make me think beyond the box and force me to stretch a bit, get out of my comfort zone, reach out, consult, learn. Daming sinabi. Haha! I'm trying to look at the positive side. The proper mindset helps me a lot at work. Worrying and being anxious is useless, I know. The moment I have learned to let go (a bit) of my fears of failure and confrontations, the nature of my work became more manageable (on most days, at least). It also helps that i'm trying to focus on the here and now. Mindfulness. That's the goal! I am trying to subscribe to these wise words...

Waahhh! It's 7:30 already, TL #1 is going to be late for school again. I promised him we'd wake up early this week. My alarm went off an hour ago. Internal struggle!     Ang hirap gumising ng maaga lalo na at umuulan, malamig ang aircon ! Our eldest is sooo like me, he would snooze as long as he can.  And he wouldn't go to school if mommy or daddy will not bring him ( kahit hanggang sakayan lang ). Not so much an issue if I don't get off work at 10 pm most days and have to wake up at least twice at dawn to feed TL #2. I need and deserve my sleep, especially because I have anemia and I don't want my world to go spinning around. Husband is on mid-shift, he also gets to sleep by midnight. There are days that we get home by midnight and our sons are still awake. What the...!  But it is a Monday, there's no excuse except that (okay, okay) maybe i love my sleep too much.  TL #1 is a mommy's boy -   Nooo. I want my mommy !  He wants m...

merryli, merrily we roll along chasing dreams. :)

I barely have free time. And during those rare times that I do have free time, I don't get anything done. I want to do so much that I end up... browsing and reading celebrity tsismis at pep.ph or reading Star and OK magazines. :) Entertaining but hardly productive. It's been months since I finished reading The Happiness Project and vowed to start a project of my own. I had the best intentions but no time. But finally, April is almost over and work should taper off a bit. The remaining days of April should be about tying up loose ends at work and gearing myself up for more intentional living starting May. I'll be needing lots of discipline, structure, good habits and resources. Most importantly, I hope that by some good fate, no major issue will crop up at work that will keep me pre-occupied. The month of May will be about: Clarity and Positive Energy 1 - Toss, Restore and Organize 2 - Tackle nagging tasks (ie. dental and OB check up, LTO drivers license renewal) - warts re...

I want to write again. So this is a try, though it's mostly a rant, a form of therapy. Ghosts from work are still haunting me, i'm trying to brace myself for anticipated client issues and problems. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself. I have the tendency to be a mild worrywart, especially for things at work that are beyond my control. I still have to learn to completely let go, to shrug off issues and leave them at work. My colleagues keep telling me not to let the stress get to me and the baby in my tummy. I've always struggled a bit in my career, mostly due to my introverted personality. When I talk to God, I always ask for courage, strength and wisdom because i've always been weak, shy and not assertive. I'm thankful though that despite the negative thoughts nagging at me, I still sleep well at night except during those times when my toddler wakes up in the middle of the night to ask for milk. My toddler has become so malambing these days that it ...

Hello blog, its been a while! I've been using a lot of brainpower the past month that I didn't have enough brain energy left to write. But now i'm back to my musings and self-reflection ( at least, the part I am comfortable sharing). It's been more than a month since I commenced my new (old) job and i'm amazed at my new-found discipline of waking up early and being at work before 8 am, sometimes as early as 6:30 am. It is a successful collaboration with my husband who goes out of his way (literally and figuratively) to bring me to the office on most days of the week. I just don't know how long it will last though as the busiest work days are now looming and I am particular on getting enough sleep due to my iron-deficiency anemia. Being at work early gives me a valid reason to go home early, at least whenever I can. I have an issue with nerves (and worry) so I try not to leave with something crucial hanging over my head. One of my secrets to work peace of mind is...

For a person like me who has this constant need to reinvent and improve* herself, writing is therapeutic and sharing my thoughts to those who care to read is relieving. I’ve been gone for a while. Way back, I felt a need to keep my thoughts to myself. I was hurting then and seeing my deepest emotions and bitterness translated into words didn’t help. I didn’t want to expose my broken heart for all the world to see when I was in denial myself. Between then and now, a lot of things has transpired. God heeded my prayers. I made big decisions and leaps of faith. I quit my first job, fell in love, moved to Ireland, been to Paris. I bought my Imac, met new friends, got lectured by my South African partner, been to the pub (trying to ignore persistent irishmen - i’m not into foreigners), broke up and got together with my boyfriend, tendered my resignation. All of these in the span of one adventurous and refreshing year. Can’t say life is dull at all. I feel like i’m Alice in wonderland. I’m in...