how to deal with jealousy and sibling rivalry?
Our 4 year old had a sudden outburst the other day that left me in shock. Me: Don't hit your brother with the pillow. He's just a baby! TL#1: No, I want to kill him. I want him to die! Shucks! Me (as calmly as I could): No of course not. You don't mean that. Part of me was scared and wanted to deny what I heard. TL#1: No, I want to kill him. I was supposed to scold him and tell him that was a bad thing to say but I stopped myself. I realized I was not acknowledging his feelings. I was trying to invalidate them with my words. Good thing I read a few pages of the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk . The book gives the following first aid to help a child in distress: TO HELP WITH FEELINGS 1. Listen with full attention. 2. Acknowledge their feelings with a word - "Oh". . ."Mmm". . . "I see." 3. Give their feelings a name. Here's a sample illustration from the book (click to enlarge). 4. Give them their wishes in f...