an embarrassing confession
I used to join beauty contests. Please don't laugh. I did! Yes I had guts, back in the days when shame and pressure of societal expectations were not yet part of my vocabulary, when fear of disappointment and failure were still strangers to me. What a fun opportunity it would be to be a kid again! During family gatherings, i would volunteer to sing or declaim or dance. I had no shame even though i could not carry a tune. I was blissfully unaware of my lack of talent back then. My relatives adored me for my bravado, or maybe made fun of me? I'm not sure really. I grew up to be a confident child, what with all those practice and the applause and praises of my family. And then the most embarrassing moment in my life happened - I peed in front of the class! After that unfortunate incident, i was depressed for a while. I would stay awake staring at the ceiling, shedding silent tears, hoping for answers why such an embarrassing experience happened to me. To my young mind, that was th...