our chaotic mornings

Waahhh! It's 7:30 already, TL #1 is going to be late for school again. I promised him we'd wake up early this week. My alarm went off an hour ago. Internal struggle!   Ang hirap gumising ng maaga lalo na at umuulan, malamig ang aircon! Our eldest is sooo like me, he would snooze as long as he can. 

And he wouldn't go to school if mommy or daddy will not bring him (kahit hanggang sakayan lang). Not so much an issue if I don't get off work at 10 pm most days and have to wake up at least twice at dawn to feed TL #2. I need and deserve my sleep, especially because I have anemia and I don't want my world to go spinning around. Husband is on mid-shift, he also gets to sleep by midnight. There are days that we get home by midnight and our sons are still awake. What the...! 

But it is a Monday, there's no excuse except that (okay, okay) maybe i love my sleep too much. 

TL #1 is a mommy's boy - Nooo. I want my mommy

He wants me to feed him, give him a bath (in his words - Mommy, take a bath me!), brush his teeth, change his clothes, help him with his assignment. It was adorable and heart-melting at first but it is getting old as he gets old.

I relent on most days but I have bad, busy, stressful days so we squabble. 

Our mornings are normally chaotic. 

Mommy, please wait for me. I want to race you eat. 

Mommy, mommy. What are you doing??? I want to take a bath with you. (I'm in the loo). 

Mommy, please heat your water first (he doesn't want to take a bath) 

No! I want mommy to bring me to school. 

And the worst part ( when I need to leave the house before him ) 

Mommy, please stay with me. Please don't go to work. Mommy, please. 

You know I can't baby, I need to go to work for you and little brother. 

I don't want you to go to work mommy. 

But I need to make money. 

I don't want money mommy. Please stay with me. Wah! Stay with me. 

I'm going now. 

I want to kiss and hug. (kiss and hug).  Please stay with me mommy. Please ask your boss to let you stay with me. 

Kahit nasa kanto na ako, dinig ko pa rin ang sigaw at iyak nya. Hay. 

I know we need to provide him more structure and sense of security. He and his little brother are left to their nannies/ househelp. Mommy comes homes late most days. He has a new yaya, his 5th one so far. Most of the time, I am too tired to argue that either I give in to what he wants or I ignore his whining completely. 

I need better time management, self-discipline, wisdom and some divine intervention to be a better mom. So help me God. 


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