an attempt to write again

I want to write again. So this is a try, though it's mostly a rant, a form of therapy.

Ghosts from work are still haunting me, i'm trying to brace myself for anticipated client issues and problems. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself. I have the tendency to be a mild worrywart, especially for things at work that are beyond my control. I still have to learn to completely let go, to shrug off issues and leave them at work. My colleagues keep telling me not to let the stress get to me and the baby in my tummy.

I've always struggled a bit in my career, mostly due to my introverted personality. When I talk to God, I always ask for courage, strength and wisdom because i've always been weak, shy and not assertive.

I'm thankful though that despite the negative thoughts nagging at me, I still sleep well at night except during those times when my toddler wakes up in the middle of the night to ask for milk.

My toddler has become so malambing these days that it warms my heart (most of the time, at least) and his smile and hugs and kisses keep me sane. I'm also grateful for my husband who is always there for me. Just knowing I have them to go home to everyday makes me feel secure and happy and forget (even if briefly) the worries and troubles being an adult in this world brings. I've always been like this but I've observed that i've become less worrisome as the years go by. Maybe with more experience and years behind me, I'll finally learn to be assertive and a bit nonchalant at work (like I am in some aspects of my life). Here's to the best intentions for 2012. Cheers!

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