Apparently, we're going to spend our third night here in the hospital. It's our first staycation for the year, probably our 10th (or more) in the last 3 years. It's a becoming family tradition which we are trying and praying hard to break. This should be the last one.
Our youngest is sick - down with persistent cough, fever and diarrhea. Oh, nothing serious really compared to our eldest son's bout with the kawasaki disease, the very reason we tend to border to paranoia when it comes to bringing our kids to the doctor.
I was never confined in a hospital until I gave birth to our eldest son at 28 years of age. Therefore, it was traumatic for me to be back barely 6 months after and have him admitted for dehydration due to diarrhea. It stressed us a lot when he had to get treated again for same sickness before he was a year old. Then I had to undergo laparoscopic surgery to have an ovarian cyst removed. It proved to be benign. Shortly after (while I was pregnant with baby no. 2), our eldest contracted the rare kawasaki disease. We were devastated but we survived. After that, doctors, ECGs, emergency rooms and hospital admissions got old. Of course, we still get stressed but we're coping. It's nothing to be proud of nor something that is good to be used to, especially our babies' hysterical cries and trauma over needles and nurses and doctors. But I have had some realizations over these incidents:
1. God always provides. He is good all the time. During those times when it hurt so much to think of the reasons 'why', one thing kept us strong - our faith that this too shall pass!
2. Health is wealth. More than money or physical things, we should give value to good health and take care of ourselves and our family's well-being. This is proving difficult to address but if there is a will, there should be a way.
3. I love my husband and I admire how he handles our family situations. We make a formidable team. Oh yes, we snap at each other, stressed and tired as we are but we have learned to grit our teeth, set aside our differences and pull through, together.
4. We have family and friends who are always there for us no matter what. Of course, it helps that our jobs (husband's, mostly) got us covered through health maintenance organizations (HMO), which shoulders most of the hospitalization expenses in some cases. The same HMOs also give us access to the best hospitals in the metro.
5. I can be resilient. I always thought of myself as weak, cringing over the slightest of pain, getting emotional over the smallest of things, crying over trivial matters. Then I became a wife and a mother and had to grow up, get used to heartbreak and pain. Motherhood made me vulnerable and strong at the same time.
6. Philhealth contributions are important and we should keep our list of dependents updated.
We have dimmed the lights, grateful that our sick son is now asleep. We can hear his labored breathing due to clogged nose. Thankfully, his bouts with cough have temporarily ceased. In a while, he will wake up crying due to headache from fever or discomfort from his diaper rashes. He has become wary of strangers coming in the room, clinging to mommy or daddy for dear life, then feeling betrayed for being forced to drink his medicine. I had to divert my eyes when the doctor inserted the IV. It hurts us to see him in so much discomfort and pain but we trust that we are doing what is best for him. In a few weeks, he'll be turning a year old. We hope by then he'll be back to his vibrant self and be able to enjoy his party. Thank you for your prayers for his fast recovery.