Friday, 26 April 2013

here i go again

(This is a repost from my other blog. For the past weeks, i have created 2 new blogs with posts about my happiness project. I wanted to start fresh. I wanted some anonymity. But now i'm getting confused trying to maintain 3 blogs.)

Here I go again.

It is tax season and I'm stressed and chronically fatigued. I put in long hours at work and feel that I have limited time for family and leisure. My enthusiasm meter which was full, fresh from the new year, is now drained.

This is my 11th year and one would think I would have acclimated by now to the stress and demands of my profession. Big NO. Every year, during this time, I rethink my profession and my decisions. And I end up - still Here!

During these difficult times, I resort to wishful thinking... How I wish I were so rich, I did not have to work one single day! Then I turn to Lotto and hope and pray (with million others) that I win. I don't. But for some time, I allow myself to dream that I did. Sarap sana!

Same thoughts year in year out. The big joke's on me ;)

I started the year 2013 with positivity and much enthusiasm. I bought The Happiness Project and formulated my initial happiness project. But I have one very difficult opponent - time!

The good news is that this phase is not permanent, it always passes. It is part of an annual cycle I've been caught in for the past decade. And as I start another cycle, I decided to give it a twist. Make some small changes. Be more mindful. Take it one day at a time. Be more in control of my behavior. And at the end of the year, I would like to own the experience. I chose this rather than this was imposed on me. At least, i'll try :)

As I struggled to motivate my fatigued self today, I came upon a podcast (The Public Speaker Quick and Dirty Tips) and gathered these grains of wisdom:

> you can't control anything or anyone else but your behavior

> do whatever you can do to succeed in the environment that YOU CHOSE

> think about possible changes to improve the situation that bothers you

> make the necessary adjustments or move on

Life is a choice.

This is my ongoing pursuit - of better, happiness and meaning. Been there, am there, almost there but not yet. :D

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