Monday, 27 June 2011

the promise a cloud holds

I wrote this 'short story' some time in high school.


The Promise A Cloud Holds
1998

Intense heat radiated from the sun yet I felt a spine-chilling breeze envelop my whole being. Today's the 3rd day of the last week of March. Periodical tests were finally over so here I am sitting on a bench under the mahogany tree with mind and body set on some relaxation and idling. Absent-mindedly, I riveted my gaze to the skies up above. My sight lingered there for a moment until it focused on a lone cloud. I was hypnotized by its simple charm and before I knew it, memories of a sweet voice barged in. It was of someone I've spent almost all of my time with two long years ago. It was your voice.

"I wish I were a cloud!" was your favorite statement and whenever I gave my negation, you add jokingly, "Don't you want it? I could watch over you." You used to walk me home and we spent some time on top of a hill we claimed our own. Under the sky ablaze with bright orange and purple hues, we shared and laughed over silly jokes. We talked about our future until light succumbs to darkness.

We were almost inseparable. You were always the jolly one, very optimistic. You were my constant companion and a very good friend - my light in this bleak world. Of course, we had our own share of misunderstandings. One of which caused most of my bitterness...

It was a day of two years ago when we both flared up. I understood the fact that you were having headaches. What I couldn't accept was your indifference and coldness towards me. We parted for summer without patching things up. I went to visit a relative for 3 weeks. We never communicated or at least, you didn't. At that span of time I began to think of you and me and decided to make up with you when I return home. I thought it could wait but I learned the hard way. Time passed by fleetingly and there I was, jumping the last steps to our home, only to be met with a deafening silence. Everyone at home was acting weird. I subconsciously knew what was coming yet I was greatly shocked. I felt numb and oblivious to everything else around me. No tears left my eye. I just stood there - wide-eyed, knees trembling. I knew you were sick but I never thought it would come to this. My mind shouted total indifference.

I stubbornly denied the fact until I saw you in that coffin - calm, composed and achingly handsome. It felt like a dam was opened and reality flowed, almost drowning me. Tears welled and I cried until I was hoarse but it was not enough to exhaust me of my grief and the pain of your loss. What hurts me more is the fact that you were gone without hearing me say "I'm sorry."

That day and the other days that passed were all a nightmare. I was like a robot - eating, sleeping yet oblivious to everything else around me. I was a living zombie until I finally had the guts to read your very last letter. The end part of it jerked me soul-deep.

No matter what happens, I'll be a cloud watching and loving you from up above. Please live on.

From that day on, I tried to live back to normal. It was hard but with the help of my family and friends, I somehow made it through. Though whenever I see a cloud, memories of you rushes back to me.

I wiped the tears rolling down my cheeks. I stood up and threw the cloud one last glance. As I opened the school gate, I decided to bury memories of you. It was a difficult decision but if I had to live on, I would have to forget. The clouds will always be there, I don't want to suffer forever.

Maybe someday, I will come back and reminisce once again thoughts of you. That is, when the pain of your loss no longer brings mist to my eyes.

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