Saturday, 28 May 2011

Reading

First stop on my quest for inspiration is to read again.

As a child, i grew up reading reader's digest which my mama subscribed to. I believe reading and answering the vocabulary quizzes helped enhance my english skills.

Whenever i took a vacation in one of my aunt's home, i used to lock myself in the basement, drowning myself in their collection of adarna books for children, liwayway magazine and even Bannawag. In my teens, i loved reading Sweet dreams, Love stories, Tagalog novels, comics, and what-not. I remember how we, together with a sibling and my papa, would walk to a neighboring "lease" stand for novels and comics and how happy and excited we were to read our new finds. In school, i would borrow Nancy Drew, Hardy Boys and Bobbsey Twins series. In high school and college, i graduated to reading Danielle Steel, John Grisham and Harlequin Romance novels.
I would say i blame all those romance novels for the hopeless romantic in me but it is from reading that i discovered my penchant for drama. I used to keep a journal and write poems and short stories, all about love and pain and heartbreak.

I used to imagine and daydream a lot. I would cry from the heartbreak of my fictional characters and would smile from their bliss. I was a bit of a cuckoo for that, crying from imaginary situations i make up in my head. That's why i believe, if i just sit on it, i could write a pretty decent Taglish romance novel and then maybe an english one.

My love for reading fueled the writer in me. Writing has been my solace. I have been a weak young girl, i easily got depressed, i struggled to forget and forgive myself for some childhood not-so-good memories. I was shy and sheltered. But i wrote well. In fact, i was associate editor in chief of our school paper in high school.

And then i grew up. I took up accountancy and excelled in it. But in the process, i lost the time and stamina to write. I focused on the academics. I was one of those who thought being theoretically smart and graduating with honors equated success. In the real world though, one needs to be street smart to be successful and to be happy and fulfilled, one needs to be doing what one loves most, what is in her nature.

In my working years, i wrote every now and then. I write best when i'm in distress or heartbroken. I think i'm slightly masochistic in that sense. Being single and waiting for Mr. Right makes one go through a rollercoaster of emotions. It is those emotions that used to inspire me to write and whine and be such a drama queen.

It's been years now since i commenced blogging. I start a blog then forget about it, start a blog, vow to write every single day, get busy with work and forget about it again.

Eversince i've found the one and we settled down, i feel steady and at home. Most of the time, i am contented to simply savor being with my hubby and son. But I love them so much that i feel the need to be the best i can be. As my baby grows older, i strive to be a better person so that i, together with hubby, will be able to guide him well. This is one person that is highly dependent on me and so my being will heavily influence his present and future.

Almost every day, especially during my commute, the inspiration to write strikes me. It may be during a bus ride or while i'm waiting for my train. They're mostly about random thoughts or feelings i wanted to share to the world. But at times i realize those thoughts or feelings have become a bit superficial through the years. I don't have that much interesting to share because i have stopped learning. I no longer read as much. To be able to share, one must learn and so i vow to be a voracious reader again.

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