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I've been wanting to write about this since I listened to the episode 'What to do When You Hate Your Job" by Michael Hyatt 's This is My Life podcast. No, I don't hate my job. Hate is too strong a word. But admittedly, there are times I find it hard and overwhelming. And during those times, it is easy to get swayed emotionally and it becomes difficult to put things in perspective. In short, I react and feel like a victim who has no control of my circumstances instead of taking a step back and acting consciously. I know, I know, choosing to be proactive rather than reactive will make all the difference. However at the heat of the moment, it is not easy to make the good choice. “If you’re proactive, you don’t have to wait for circumstances or other people to create perspective expanding experiences. You can consciously create your own." - Stephen Covey It takes a lot of practice and conscious efforts before one can be truly proactive. Makes me think I should hav

It's Friday and my son bid me farewell today with this: Me: Bye baby. Mommy is going now. TL#1: Where are you going again mommy? Me: To work. TL#1: Why don't you work fast mommy? I'll give you my power of speed so you can work fast! He must really want me to come home early. At times like this, I feel a compelling need to find an 8 to 5 work. But is that the solution? When I was younger, before I became a teenager, I always looked forward to my Mama and Papa coming home from work. I like it more when they have pasubong but I was mostly content to have them home. Ah, the security of being with your parents! Then I became a teenager (with a boyfriend) and didn't care much anymore. That's why I want to squeeze as much memories and bonding moments with my kids at this stage in their life. Moms with older kids say that this stage is fleeting. There'll come a time that your children won't look for you anymore unless they want something. I believe in spending qual

Thanks Nanay, Tatay, Tita Allone, Tita Sherwin, and Amici, too for helping make TL#1's 4th birthday memorable. Our baby is now 4 years old, unbelievable! He wanted a dinosaur birthday party so we bought him an inflatable t-rex from Early Learning Centre . We now call it Theosaurus. He is so happy with his new best friend, who graced his impromptu party in his grandparents house in the province. He enjoyed playing with the other kids. He doesn't have regular playmates here back home. After the kids went home... TL#1: Mommy, why are the visitors gone? Me: Because the party is over. TL#1: But I don't want the party to be over. Gusto ko pa games! That shows how deprived he is of authentic playtime. Hopefully, this will change as soon as we transfer to our new home. Sometimes I feel for him because he does not experience in the city the kind of young play we had in the province when we were kids. But to be fair, he is also lucky in many ways. We hope he knows that. We were back

One of the things I want to tick off my bucket list is to read the bible from cover to cover. I have read all Harry Potter and Percy Jackson books, Hunger Games, Twilight Saga, Games of Throne and Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy, among others. It should have been an easy feat for me to finish reading the Bible. Last week while looking for anything dinosaur for TL#1 in Dash of Fun store in Greenbelt 5, I chanced upon the Veggie Tales Bible, the new international version made for kids ages 4 to 7 years old. It was a bit expensive at $24.99 but I did not hesitate much. I thought it was good idea for him and me to bond over and finish reading the Bible together. I was so excited to show it to TL#1 and he loved it! He couldn't wait for us to read the stories (verses). We slept past 11 pm that night because he doesn't want to put it down. He had lots of questions, too, which are sometimes difficult to answer and so I ask him back "what do you think?". We both learn as we go.

Thankful for today - an ordinary, almost boring, rejuvenating Saturday. Just what I badly needed. About three weeks ago, I snapped big time. Something in me has gone pretty mad and I waged a silent war - me against the world. I feel so stretched yet it seems I should give room for more. Hinde ko na alam kung saan ko huhugutin ang kailangan ko pang ibigay! I lost control of myself. I wallowed in victim mode. I threw major tantrums. I turned against my easiest targets - my hubby and the kids - shouting at the slightest provocation. Maybe, it has got something to do too with the fact that I am soon turning 32. Getting old? And fat? Hehehehe . Frustrations? Baggage? Masarap din minsan to give in to your emotions . To acknowledge that you are human. To give yourself time to process what you are going through. I am good at feigning indifference. How else could I get through each long workday without thinking much of the safety of my kids who are left under the care of strangers?! How else c

Pwedeng umiyak? Gutom na yata ako. My head is aching. Maybe I talked too much in the meeting. Mondays are really manic. As soon as I tick off a to do, another one crops up. Mushroom?!? I've been toting this book The One-Life Solution by Dr. Henry Cloud for about two months now. I have yet to turn another page since I got stuck on p.66 (of p.239). The byline promise is - Reclaim your personal life while achieving greater professional success. Here's the point on the page where I stopped reading: Your time is your life. Period. How you spend it ends up being what your life is. To quote further: No matter what you want to do, wish you had done, plan to do, or fantasize about while you are doing something else, the final reality of your life is how you spent your time. What can I say? My time management does not seem to be working. Heto na lang -Sana manalo ako sa lotto ngayong gabi. Please please! And if I do not win tonight, i will continue reading the book tomorrow. Habang may b

Mainit ang ulo ko. I'm trying to figure out exactly why. I do not, by nature, easily get frustrated or mad. I may be frustrated because apparently, I failed to check that TL#1 needs hairnet, gloves and apron for today's activity. I only prepared the ingredients for the graham cake. Epic fail. Lesson learned: Check the diary. Do not depend on the discussion with the assistant teacher. I'll make it up next time. I may be mad because I anticipate a very busy day at work yet I have to remember to email the cake order form for TL#2's birthday and pay the cake. And yes, I am in charge of the word 'MILK' for TL#1's costume for Nutrition Month celebration tomorrow. I have to do all that today. Ilang oras nga ang Thursday? I'll probably get home by midnight. I may be mad because the weather is humid and I am stuck in traffic. I may be mad because it's already Thursday and i'm tired and we still have lots of things to do for TL#2's birthday party. I&#

Let's celebrate a small success! Our pre-schooler has been going to school for 3 days in a row without much fuss. Hooray! Mommy is able to get up as the alarm goes off (miracle!), wake TL#1 up and give him a bath. We leave the house at the same time and I see him off to school. Hopefully, I did not blog this 'success' too early and the whole week goes well and the next and the next. It is actually the hubby who is behind the resolution of our issue on TL#1's reluctance to go to school. Our pre-schooler used to throw tantrums and would even hide under the bed. Ang hirap sa umaga. Hubby discussed with our little boy the 'special steps' he has to take every weekday. Then they agree on something to do on the weekends as sort of a reward. Peg nila si Captain Oso. Here are the special steps they have agreed on written on the hubby's white board: 1. Wake up at 7:00 AM. 2. Eat breakfast. 3. Take a bath (with mommy). 4. Brush our teeth. 5. Put on our clothes. 6. Go t

Waahhh! It's 7:30 already, TL #1 is going to be late for school again. I promised him we'd wake up early this week. My alarm went off an hour ago. Internal struggle!     Ang hirap gumising ng maaga lalo na at umuulan, malamig ang aircon ! Our eldest is sooo like me, he would snooze as long as he can.  And he wouldn't go to school if mommy or daddy will not bring him ( kahit hanggang sakayan lang ). Not so much an issue if I don't get off work at 10 pm most days and have to wake up at least twice at dawn to feed TL #2. I need and deserve my sleep, especially because I have anemia and I don't want my world to go spinning around. Husband is on mid-shift, he also gets to sleep by midnight. There are days that we get home by midnight and our sons are still awake. What the...!  But it is a Monday, there's no excuse except that (okay, okay) maybe i love my sleep too much.  TL #1 is a mommy's boy -   Nooo. I want my mommy !  He wants me to feed him, give him a bath

I realized for a while now that I am living head over heels aka in disorderly haste every day, mostly because I'm very busy at work. I hardly have time to be a good housekeeper, wife and mom. I am grateful, therefore, to have the weekends to myself and for my family. I am a wife and a mom to two young kids but most of my hours are spent working, which makes me a hardworking (albeit sometimes reluctant) working girl, aiming for self-fulfillment and financial freedom. I love reading and writing and sleeping (not a morning person - not me)! I have taken up driving lessons but can't find the guts to actually drive. I have a love-hate relationship with commuting. I hate the traffic and the queue and the drivers who hate traffic too. But I love that I get to read and write during commute, my precious ME time during workdays. I am an Ilokana but thrifty is not in my vocabulary, to save and spend wisely are my flitting goals. Despite of my lack of time, I find myself perpetually wantin

I agree with Gretchen Rubin when she tackled vitality first in her happiness project. Just 3 days to go before the formal start of my project and i'm still trying to harness all the energy I can muster. First on my list, which seems so difficult to accomplish, is sleeping early. Since I went back to work from my maternity leave, I've been going home late. And to make up for the long workdays, I sleep in during the weekends. This bad habit had screwed my body clock. My erratic sleeping pattern has left me feeling lethargic. I'm also currently struggling with my belly fat which gets me feeling frustrated every morning when I put on my clothes and nothing fits well. I'm not a fan of sports and i have never hit the gym so this is proving difficult for me to address. I tried cutting back on rice but whatever I lose during meals I gain again courtesy of junk foods. In preparation for my happiness project action points this month of May, I've been going through my past iss

There is something seriously wrong with me these days. This morning, I spent almost an hour going through my meagre wardrobe looking for something that would fit. Gaining weight is proving to be a constant source of frustration. I need more Zumba sessions and more discipline to lose my belly fats (from pregnancy) and some pounds (from stress bingeing during the busy season). We had our first in-house Zumba session in our group yesterday. Just us and the dvd player. No instructor. Hopefully, it will turn out to be a regular fitness thing. Last night, I went to sleep at 2 am. And woke up at almost 11 am! I promised myself I would sleep early this week but there were some important things at work that I had to lose some sleep over. And for two consecutive midnights, the kids wake up as soon as husband and I get through the door. Next week will be different. I hope and I pray. I can’t concentrate on my job. I’m used to being efficient. I know because I log my tasks every 15 minutes (a habi

merryli, merrily we roll along chasing dreams. :)

I barely have free time. And during those rare times that I do have free time, I don't get anything done. I want to do so much that I end up... browsing and reading celebrity tsismis at pep.ph or reading Star and OK magazines. :) Entertaining but hardly productive. It's been months since I finished reading The Happiness Project and vowed to start a project of my own. I had the best intentions but no time. But finally, April is almost over and work should taper off a bit. The remaining days of April should be about tying up loose ends at work and gearing myself up for more intentional living starting May. I'll be needing lots of discipline, structure, good habits and resources. Most importantly, I hope that by some good fate, no major issue will crop up at work that will keep me pre-occupied. The month of May will be about: Clarity and Positive Energy 1 - Toss, Restore and Organize 2 - Tackle nagging tasks (ie. dental and OB check up, LTO drivers license renewal) - warts re

I want to write again. So this is a try, though it's mostly a rant, a form of therapy. Ghosts from work are still haunting me, i'm trying to brace myself for anticipated client issues and problems. I know I shouldn't but I can't help myself. I have the tendency to be a mild worrywart, especially for things at work that are beyond my control. I still have to learn to completely let go, to shrug off issues and leave them at work. My colleagues keep telling me not to let the stress get to me and the baby in my tummy. I've always struggled a bit in my career, mostly due to my introverted personality. When I talk to God, I always ask for courage, strength and wisdom because i've always been weak, shy and not assertive. I'm thankful though that despite the negative thoughts nagging at me, I still sleep well at night except during those times when my toddler wakes up in the middle of the night to ask for milk. My toddler has become so malambing these days that it

No post for day three because i'm not feeling well. I'm down with colds and sore throat, which I hate much more than my surgical wounds. Let it remain a gap in my countdown to remind me that 30 days before my birthday, I had one really bad day. I must admit, when I started the countdown, I was an energizer bunny. I was sooo looking forward to my 30th birthday celebration. I'm supposed to be in a picnic now with my family and high school barkada , celebrating the big 3-0 together with a cousin whose birthday is only three days earlier than mine. But i'm at home, nursing my colds, feeling old. I remained optimistic even after the surgery but there are times that I feel like crying, especially now that i'm also suffering from headache and runny nose. I try so hard not to sneeze because my wounds hurt so bad every time I do. Ouch! Enough with my rants. On with my countdown. I remember when I was a kid, I found a little notebook my father kept to note details about me

My toddler is becoming clingy to mommy. Ever since he learned to utter the words 'mommy', he's been using it to his advantage. Just yesterday, I woke up earlier than I intended because I can hear him crying and shouting mommy. Apparently, he wanted to climb the stairs and wake mommy up. Yaya was trying her best to distract him but he only wailed and shouted a little louder. This has been a long and tiring week for me and I had to cut back a little on time spent with my baby. We were both crying and frustrated the other day - baby because he wanted to play with mommy, and mommy because she just couldn't play with baby. I had a pressing thing at work to do. Sometimes working from home has its downside. I went home yesterday with a terrible headache. I worked 24 hours last Tuesday and wasn't able to catch up on sleep until last night. I almost cried at work at the thought that the job that kept me up for two nights was not done just yet. I'm guessing my tear ducts